Reminiscence

April 2003
Peadiatric oncology ward

I was freshed out of medschool. Perplexed by the unknown and fear of uncertainty. The four month rotation in that ward changed the way I looked at human spirit forever through the eyes of dying innocent children.

I remember their faces vividly even as I share with you this story.

Too many young souls were lost within that short space of time. They showed me great strength and courage at their death beds. Those hours I spent with them in their final moment of life linger in my mind long after they had gone.

These children who live their life in hospital beds find solace with each other until one by one they would see their play-buddies died of sepsis or organ failures.

Sometimes charity groups drop by with gifts & meals, and clowns with balloons and all would lighten up their face. But behind those laughs and smiles.. most of them knew that they wouldn't probably live long enough to blow the candles on their 15th year old birthday's cake.

One of them is Sarah a 7 year old girl from Sabah. She had a primary liver cancer which is rare in children. Her sweet angelic face is unforgettable. Her laugh & giggle would lighten up the room. She fought a good fight, she survived 5 months than we had expected.

Her demise hurt me the most, with blood coming out from her every orifice she looked at me in agony. All we could provide was pain relief and blood product to stop the bleeding. She looked very thin, fragile and frightened. She passed away at 3am that morning.

***

Every now and then, when I'm alone by myself in a quiet empty place. Their faces would come to my mind and I'd find myself wept quietly for them.

Living the memory

Fantasy #57:

Performing solo piano / guitar gig, maybe Blunt's 'Goodbye my lover', now that would be wicked!

Or.. maybe deep inside, part of me still wanna become a multi-platinum rock star, singing 'You wanna make a memory' while sharing the stage with Bon Jovi.

"okayy Richiiee... 1 and a 2 and a 3...

Faded jeans and broken heart

do go well with a poet in pain.

Blues skies and midnight rain accompanied me

walking down your street in my soaked white tee while staring at your window hoping you would be there... looking at me"

...hmm but would that make me a stalker instead, or worse a potential serial killer?
Oh crap!

Boleyy ( ...boley blah!)

Hahaha!

This one really cracked me up good. At wee hour in the morning we sometime have to order 'portable' x-ray (meaning the radiographer technician have to bring the x-ray machine up to the ward) coz patients are most of the time too sick to be send downstairs to the radiological dept.

I guess the doc who ordered this x-ray really pissed off the techy guy big time, maybe the patient was gulping down his soda when he came with his big heaavvyy machine at 2am.

View from the top

Some people are so self-obsessed that they think this world should only revolves around them and quit spinning once they leave the room.

There are semi-VIPs or even worse.. perceive themselves to be one just because he's the third cousin of the Sultan's driver - would march straight to the ever-busy ER doctors and demand that they be seen by someone quick because they have an itchy dick.

I say screw these people and they just hafta to wait in line bcoz they are kids who right now need some stitches on their bleeding head.

Another kind would be the obnoxiously irritating 'loud people' who think that their presence need duly attention and every of their spoken words need to be followed. Oh they are just so loud!

On another note for those of you who need breakaway from the killer evening rush-hour jam - (one of my cheap/free ad with no bloody commission) why not head on to the Trader's hotel skybar at 6pm to catch a nice cast of sunset empowering the city in its glistening light...

...and if that doesn't help... maybe those tiny mini-me burgers will make you forget the obnoxiosly loud VIPs.