Atorvastatin

Do you know that during near-death experiences, there are reports saying that people literally see their whole life flashes pass in front of them (before they were resuscitad back to life of course (otherwise how would we know rite? D'OH!).

Does this mean that human in their final moments of life on earth would re-experience these thousands of happy and sad time of their life in a split second manner.

In my countless hour witnessing these 'do not resuscitation case' deathbed scenario, the number of those who died with dramatic ending out-numbered the peaceful demise by a greater margin.

Hmm I wonder if their life were full of sad moments then?

On another note, I got both Saturday & sunday free this weekend, what a bliss. I can now enjoy what I do best on my extravaganza weekend-noon spree...

... which is post-lunch long hours of sleeping -- dozing off with Norah Jones singing in the background.


At least that's my strategy to regain back a few pound of missing fat during Posa month - my weight had dropped from 76 to 68kg.

It's darn hard listening to patient's chest with stethoscope when my shirts keep sneaking out from my mengelebeh Docker pants every few seconds.

Life

'Live life to the fullest' is something that I yearn all night long to believe in.

Yet as time passes by, I could see every tiny moment of my life slip away into a permanent state of oblivion.



There are many idealistic people out there.



I am certainly not one of them.

It got me to think of those motivational pin-up posters they make. How about this "If you need this RM8 poster to make you feel good about your life, then it's time for you to get some serious help"

Whatever

What would happen if one day, you just wake up and feel that your job is not satisfying anymore?

Is there any greater purpose out there? ... Maybe not... but hey who cares! What the heck there are many things one can do out there anyway without sacrificing your lungs to potential TB infection.

Bla bla bla.

Alone

The 3 year old boy stood silently at the corner.

He stood there watching the adults gathered around his dad whom just passed away.

His somber posture tells me that he knew something bad had just happened.

****

You can't never be too young to lose someone you love.

Independence

3... 2... 1....

31st August came and went with a bang. People from all walks of life celebrate it in many different ways. I was at the Curve to catch the fireworks which was ain't that bad.

The free open concert was a bit dissapointing though. I reckon there should be more patriotic song. But nope, the promoter thought it would be more spectacular to put on a half a dozen semi-naked dancers bouncing off their tushie to Michael Jackson's "Beat it".

But hey who am I to argue with 7,800 other people out there that night? They seem to enjoy the show.

The highlight of my 'little tour' at the midnight celebration was to see my own fellah bangsa'man posing his merdeka spirit.

I'm sure Tok Gajah, Dato' Bahaman and Mat Kilau would be proud to see our generation's mentality at the peak of our 5oth national independence.

Well Malaysia... Happy Birthday!

Reminiscence

April 2003
Peadiatric oncology ward

I was freshed out of medschool. Perplexed by the unknown and fear of uncertainty. The four month rotation in that ward changed the way I looked at human spirit forever through the eyes of dying innocent children.

I remember their faces vividly even as I share with you this story.

Too many young souls were lost within that short space of time. They showed me great strength and courage at their death beds. Those hours I spent with them in their final moment of life linger in my mind long after they had gone.

These children who live their life in hospital beds find solace with each other until one by one they would see their play-buddies died of sepsis or organ failures.

Sometimes charity groups drop by with gifts & meals, and clowns with balloons and all would lighten up their face. But behind those laughs and smiles.. most of them knew that they wouldn't probably live long enough to blow the candles on their 15th year old birthday's cake.

One of them is Sarah a 7 year old girl from Sabah. She had a primary liver cancer which is rare in children. Her sweet angelic face is unforgettable. Her laugh & giggle would lighten up the room. She fought a good fight, she survived 5 months than we had expected.

Her demise hurt me the most, with blood coming out from her every orifice she looked at me in agony. All we could provide was pain relief and blood product to stop the bleeding. She looked very thin, fragile and frightened. She passed away at 3am that morning.

***

Every now and then, when I'm alone by myself in a quiet empty place. Their faces would come to my mind and I'd find myself wept quietly for them.

Living the memory

Fantasy #57:

Performing solo piano / guitar gig, maybe Blunt's 'Goodbye my lover', now that would be wicked!

Or.. maybe deep inside, part of me still wanna become a multi-platinum rock star, singing 'You wanna make a memory' while sharing the stage with Bon Jovi.

"okayy Richiiee... 1 and a 2 and a 3...

Faded jeans and broken heart

do go well with a poet in pain.

Blues skies and midnight rain accompanied me

walking down your street in my soaked white tee while staring at your window hoping you would be there... looking at me"

...hmm but would that make me a stalker instead, or worse a potential serial killer?
Oh crap!