Lost soul

"1 mississippi 2 mississippi 3 mississippi..."

I'm looking down on a 26 year old chinese lady whose heart just arrested 30 minutes ago on a Chinese New Year morning.

She got admitted via the A&E the night before with breathlessness, diagnosis of pneumonia was made and she was treated accordingly.

Her breathing became more laboured in the wee small hour of the following morning and the high flow mask device just couldn't cope up with her deteriorating lung function.

" 20 mississippi 21 mississippi.. i need more adrenaline!..." a sense of agony & frustration fills my voice..

She was supposed to attend the CNY's reunion family dinner that night...Alas, she ended up collapsed and intubated, it can't get any more tragic than this.

"Let's call it... time of death 0900." Our futile resuscitation attempt lasted almost an hour.

A message to my dear future young doctors out there... learn your arterial blood gas good. As the frontliners in our public hospital settings you will be doing on calls at night --- and trust me that between 2 and 6am in the morning what you know could save or lose your patients' lives. 'nough said.

Living dangerously

This month was quite a shocker to my system, where I had to go to the hospital for full 2 weeks including the long CNY holiday without any dayoff. By the end of it, I was mentally & physically exhausted, became irritable and unable to concentrate.

So I told my boss I need some day off, immediately hit the jackpot and became bummer for couple of days, whereby I discovered a superpower ability of staring at those ever changing clouds for hours totally ignoring the carbon monoxide-polluted KLCC-air till kingdom come.

On another note, a friend gave me a belated bufday gift... a wickedly cool body hugging shirt, which in my '30 year-old body' case would be a 'tummy-hugging' style. I'd probably wear it to my ward round and risk some of the old lady there heart attack. Fuyoh!

Reality bites

I rarely go shopping at pasar tani ever since I came back from atas laut 5 years ago. Hey don't get me wrong.. I absolutely love it , cumer the 'fresh' scent of fish etc etc sometime sting my nose. What an embarassing thing to say! Considering that I used to work at pasar malam for 3 - 4 years during my highschool days. Seems like this 'mat salleh celup' is stuggling conforming to his root... tak malu betoi!

They stole quick glance at each other several times - how sweet.

So strolling at Penchala pasar tani today is seriously doing some good to my internal homeostasis - balancing my disturbed 'chi' from too many shopping @ pavillion/the gardens. A different walk of life.

To digress, not all kids would have an easy years growing up.. it's a tough world out there - Palestine, rural places in Bangladesh and India to name a few. Kids working as labour in cotton factories or begging on rural streets, you know stuff we read in Time mags while sipping our nice hot mocha @ starbucks.

For example what would this young boy could acquire during his formative childhood years if he's literally picking up shoes from the box and arranging them on that table under the hot scorching sun... he could easily be around 4 - 5 years old.

When i did it I was like 16 - 18 years old. So that was character building if not anything else. I mean forget about National service.. although i don't mind lay my hands on those M16. Huh! Men, we easily distracted eh!

30' something

Just had my birthday last week, a plain simple one - nothing fancy, no cakes or balloon etc etc.

It makes me to think lately that in life sometime you're allowed to do certain thing only once in your lifetime. Life is not a dinner buffet and you'll not allowed for second helping.

So be certain that what you're going for is what you really want in this life.



On another note, I watched a DVD last night called '2 days in Paris' written/directed by Julie Delpy, the same French chick in 'before sunrise/sunset' (http://drfrappucino.blogspot.com/2006/11/before-we-were-young.html).

This film in a way could be the alternate version of the 'sunrise' movie.. the one if Celine had met Jesse in Vienna 6 months later and end up being lovers.

Movie quote ".. this is almost basic... i don't even know you'

memory lane

Just under 3 weeks ago the HOD announced that our exam had to be brought forward from May to March.

So all the sorry-looking 1st year scrambled their sorry little arses to the hospital library day & night. Pushing the study gear from neutral to gear 5. We sweat it out every minutes of our precious remaining time.

This afternoon the exam has been postponed back to the original date in May.Whattt!! Stop messing with my my mind and hormones or I'll end up ovulating - who knows?

Anyway, besides that we just finished our intensive/revision course in UH.

Being there brings back all the nice memory I had during my housemanship. Some of the specialists still recognise me though - hopefully in a good way.

All corners and corridors have its own memory and they whispered to my ears as I walked through them.

"Hey look!! that's the bed where i performed my first intubation and CPR.. Hooray!"

"Wait a minute, i think i went out with that nurse 4 years ago... quick hide!"



I dropped by at the oncology paediatric ward to see if my old patients are still there, but as i suspected... well... (sigh).

All was good, except for the revised exam dates! Coz now I have to hit the break pedal.

The fact that the library there was hot & stuffy doesn't help either. Just great.

dammit... stay with me

"So how are you today auntie?" I smiled at her.

"Okay, feeling much better, thank you for everything" She looked much better than before.

This makcik Odah (not her real name of coz but it sounds like a good 60's name) from Rembau, N9, was admitted for mild acidosis due to pneumonia. She's recovering well and was planned for home discharge soon.

As I was reviewing the next patient, I heard the nurse's voices....

"makcik... makcik bangun makcik...!!"

I turned and look at Makcik Odah. Her face was pale and and was staring at ceiling unresponsive - a face which I personally called - deathface.

AIYAAAA!!! GET THE CRASH CART NOWWW!

Her breath was shallow with a thready pulse. I haven't done resus for quite some time since I honourably discharged from anaesthesia - so my mind was a bit slow. Anyhow I quickly push a Guidel's airway into her mouth and bagged her while the houseofficer jumped on the bed following my instruction on a proper cardiac compression.

The cardiac monitor showed runs of VT (a bizzare looking heart rhythm).

Adrenaline & atropine went it. In the background her daughter was crying and blaming the nurse for giving her a drug which might gave her a drug reaction.

True enough, the nurse gave her an IV drug right before she collapsed.

However there's no obvious rash on her, and the lungs were clear. I proceeded with intubation, and the larynx and vocal cord was not inflammed or oedematous. All the signs that pointed out towards no allergic reaction.

We got a sinus rhythm in 3 minutes with good blood pressure.

I called up the ICU for ventilation backup and explained to the family that it wasn't the drug/antibiotic that caused it, she had a sudden coronary event which caused her to collapse.

That was about 3 weeks ago and by the time I'm writing this - she's already backed in Rembau chilling out with her grandkids.

Thank God that she make it through that ordeal coz the circumstances surrounding it is your homecook recipe for disaster. Let's face it if you don't know what you are doing you gonna end up making a terrible chicken curry.

When everything else fails, always have a solid documentation if in any case you have to make a stand in a courtroom.

*****

Speaking of courtroom, the current Linggam fiasco is a big joke on our country's judiaciary system.

WEAK LEADER. POLITICAL CORRUPTION. NURIN. HINDRAF, SYALINIE.

Whatever happen to Malaysia that we all knew when we're growing up.

Crap etc

New year came with a bang.

Any New year resolution this time around? Well not much I guess as far as I'm concern let just say I prefer to be a more realistic chap rather than having some idealistic crap jogging around my cerebral track.

The fact that nothing is certain or safe these days, especially if you're checking into 'the K' hotel in Batu Pahat, which ironically I just checked out at 1pm today (... was there to attend a wedding mind you).

Couple of things to keep in mind:

1. Friends come and go but your family stays around.


2. Never rely on your bank savings accounts (... or those belonging to your spouse too).


3. No matter how certain you are on your life right now, always - always have a PLAN B tucked somewhere inside your spender.
   

Hmm is this post too early to contain such a pessimistic view on life, well don't mind me - I'm just being as realistic as my ageing vertebral bones.