Un-kodak moment

You ever came across an absolute embarrasing moment resulting in an utter silence like 'malaikat lalu'? These two happened today:

Awkward moment 1
A female waitress slipped and nearly fell while serving drinks to a family with 4 young kids ranging from 2 to 15 years old. She yelped out loudly 'B**** mako' - loud enuf to be heard by everyone in the restaurant. RATING: 5 seconds of silence.

"Hey buddy, that's just a car-key... Hang on i wonder if it has tuna flavour on it - curious... curious"

Awkward moment 2
I was about to leave a surau when a blind man asked if I'd seen his water bottle. I saw one next to a wall and while walking to get it, I accidently asked him for a confirmation"yang hijau ni ke pakcik?".
I felt like 'can someone please get me a rope'.

Dang!

This ain't a love song

Where does this road would lead me to?

I have made a decision on this part of my life which may not have a turning point. I may not live that long...

...but for whatever that left of it, I think it's time to pick up the broken pieces and move on. This is as real as it gets in this life.

As I reflect on this journey that I've made so far, there are definitely few things which I am not so proud of... and this would probably top the list.

Would you ever forgive me?

This ain't a love song.

I should have seen it coming when the roses died
Should have seen the end of summer in your eyes
I should have listened when you said good night
You really meant good bye

Baby, I thought you and me would stand the test of time
Like we got away with the perfect crime but
We were just a legend in my mind
I guess that I was blind

Remember those nights dancing at the masquerade
The clowns wore smiles that wouldn't fade
You and I were the renegades, some things never change

It made me so mad cause I wanted it bad for us baby
Now it's so sad that whatever we had, aint worth saving
If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I've cried ain't that long
Then Im wrong, yes I'm wrong, this ain't a love song

If the pain that I'm feeling so strong
Is the reason that I'm holding on
Then Im wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't a love song

I cried and I cried
There were nights that I died for you baby
I tried and I tried to deny that your love drove me crazy

If the pain that Im feeling so strong
Is the reason that Im holding on
Then Im wrong, yeah Im wrong - this aint a love song
Yes, Im wrong, yeah, Im wrong - this aint a love song

D-Day

Masters Part I exam had put me out of action for few weeks. Got 1 week of study break from the department and made full use of it. Until i heard that our counterpart whom study outcampus got 2 weeks up to 1 month of study break. Wadahek?!

Since we're banned from entering our own wards, in case we might hear any soalan bocor or potential cases used for exams. I decided to hit the mothership of hospital --> GHKL itself to look out for interesting cases.

Lotsa patients over there man. It's like world war II ward. However i must admit that the GHKL library was stunning.

Not forgetting to mention disovering some nice spots at the national library. I must say the crowd there was enough to make 'kempen baca buku' proud. Amazing setting on the 4th floor.

Anyway just had my exam from Monday to Wednesday this week, a combo of MCQ, essays, problem solvings and practical exam where we were given 4 cases with 7 mins each to diagnose the disease solely based on body physical inspection without asking any questions.

And finally the exam result was announced this evening. Phew the suspense was so nerve-wrecking that i might as well declared a state of temporary insanity.

Thank God - I made it through.

Now that the Part I exam is done and over with shall i be a notty boy for the next 2 years or start head strong for Part II exam @ June 2010.

Ergh MRCP anyone?

(MRCP = Membership of Royal College of Physician, UK post grad medicine)

Hope

The old man called out her name. Yet he received no reply. The woman he married to for the past 40 years lied silently while her lungs were connected to a a breathing machine. He stood steadfast beside her for hours... waiting for some kind of miracle that she will return back to him as it was before.

She suffered from severe cardiac failure secondary to heart attack in front of him 2 days ago. With all the strength left in his frail frame, he carried her collapsed body out to their front yard and drove her to hospital.

***

I wish miracle would happen more often these days especially to those good people. For all we know it could have taken the last bus to Santa Fe. Andy Dufresne once said "Hope is a good thing, and no good thing ever dies".

As ironic as it is... I agree with the first part.

Andá a joderte

Last week a patient of a Caribbean origin landed in our ward with a blood disorder (which country shall not be named coz apart from dr - patient confidentiality, his country also has long range nuclear ballistic capability).


During the course of his treatment he had multiple visits from his country's ambassador. Which shows how genuine their concern over their fellow countrymen' wellbeing.


Maybe it just me, but i felt that with the ambassador's daily visit, things got speed up a little - with a bone marrow aspiration done in less than 24 hour. Which I must confess I haven't seen that happen with the other ordinary Malaysian patients (malu... malu).


This guy however know zilch of English coz they were once conquered by Spanish. Luckily their embassy could provide us with a translator.


Which was hilarious at times coz me being a highly imaginative person felt like being in a RTM 4pm Spanish telenovela with my name tag says Dr Drake Ramore...

...uttering "Te quiero con todo mi corazon"

(with dramatic facial expression).

Patient in bed 6

The old man waited for his children to pick him up from the ward, they had promised him yesterday. It's already half past 6pm and yet there were still no signs of them... and he waited.

At that time he reminded me of my own dad...

Step one you say we need to talk

He walks you say sit down it's just a talk

He smiles politely back at you

You stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right

Between the lines of fear and blame

You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

Lost soul

"1 mississippi 2 mississippi 3 mississippi..."

I'm looking down on a 26 year old chinese lady whose heart just arrested 30 minutes ago on a Chinese New Year morning.

She got admitted via the A&E the night before with breathlessness, diagnosis of pneumonia was made and she was treated accordingly.

Her breathing became more laboured in the wee small hour of the following morning and the high flow mask device just couldn't cope up with her deteriorating lung function.

" 20 mississippi 21 mississippi.. i need more adrenaline!..." a sense of agony & frustration fills my voice..

She was supposed to attend the CNY's reunion family dinner that night...Alas, she ended up collapsed and intubated, it can't get any more tragic than this.

"Let's call it... time of death 0900." Our futile resuscitation attempt lasted almost an hour.

A message to my dear future young doctors out there... learn your arterial blood gas good. As the frontliners in our public hospital settings you will be doing on calls at night --- and trust me that between 2 and 6am in the morning what you know could save or lose your patients' lives. 'nough said.